A song i wrote for our panto after-show party.
Dressed as a fried egg
Frying pan in hand.
I belted that out to a hall full of people.
I was on fire (not literally…that would’ve been pretty horrific) but..
This all happened because the previous year i was stalked.
I called my stalker out.
They were abusive and hurtful.
The stress of the betrayal (they were a new friend) led me to get shingles when i told people what had happened for the first time in its 6month saga.
I then was so exhausted i could not partake in the after-show that year as my body couldn’t handle being up to 1am. I only just coped with the panto itself.
So I vowed the year after I was going to perform again, and I would write a song.
But i didn’t just write it.
I performed it over and over in my head 100 times plus, so by the time i actually got on stage to do it live, I had already performed it dozens of times.
And i LOVED it.
It meant the world to me to be back on the stage performing, and my own song.
It meant i was well on the road to recovery.
To coming back out of my shell.
To healing, although it took a good few years after that to really heal the mental and emotional damage.
And that night, after I came off stage, I had so many performers coming up to me saying where did that confidence come from???
Oh my God, meek shy mouse to…that!!!
So my lessons to you:
- You may feel like the worst thing ever has happened to you, but a lot of good things can arise from the bad, making you stronger, wiser, more self-aware and resilient.
- Never judge a book by its cover. I may be more introverted but i love acting, singing, creating. I’ve done am dram since age 4 so put me on a stage, gimme a script, maybe chuck in an accent i can do (northern is my best) and I’m in my element.
- What positives have come from that negative? Not just my first point but think outside the box. That friendship taught me many things about me, who i am, the empath in me, the social drinker to ease my awkwardness (don’t do that sh*t now!), healthier boundaries, and so much more.
- Mental rehearsal or visualisation really works and so when i do the work i do now, giving a client home activities, I have a true example to give of how it’s powerful.
I am sure there were more lessons if I sat and thought more, but that’s a few off the top of my head. Writing a song each year was my after-show piece, and allowed me self-expression through creativity. From the year of Humpty Dumpty. Enjoy!!
When I was First An Egg – Copyright of Victoria Smith-Gillard