Grief is such a powerful emotion.
Last night i sobbed my heart out on and off allowing so much grief to just come up and out.
I worked with my tuning forks, homeopathic remedies, Bach remedies, Tapping, rose water, and even singing a song quite poignant to death of a Beloved – Jealous of the Angels by Donna McTaggart. I felt my feelings all the way and still am. it was binaural beats for grief that ended up sending me into slumber.
I thought when i went to bed i would just sleep, but nope my body and mind had other ideas.
The grief and heartbreak on so many levels was too strong.
It felt like losing my own cat. Yet she was not mine. But i treated her like mine and she meant the world to me as does her dad. Some here know who, but it is not my place to share Dad’s identity because their grief and heartbreak is theirs to express only if they so wish. Hence why i am also not sharing her picture.
Grief wanted to be in charge last night, waking me at powerful moments, at both 11.11 and 1.11 as well as other times.
Beautiful baby, one so young, yet a personality that filled an entire house, with her boldness and cuteness mixed into one.
Her young life lost because of a speeding car, of a driver that didn’t stop and try to find out who she belonged to. Luckily a neighbour did. I am so grateful to them so that Dad especially as well as myself could say goodbye. So we could stroke her little body and head a few last times, and hold her paws. To express our love to her and share our final loving words.
That image will be forever etched on my memory.
To be there with Dad and to walk away leaving her with the vet, untold grief.
Even though i have seen her, touched her, seen her eyes, it is still hard to believe. That’s grief for you. Acceptance on one level but disbelief at another.
She was too young.
She was loving her new life.
Gone too soon because of humanity.
Forever in the hearts of those she touched.
I feel so much for dad and her kitty sister too, because i know they are hurting and grieving too.
I feel selfish sharing my own grief because she wasn’t my kitty.
But my grief is my grief. it is valid and needs to be expressed and heard.
My parting message: when someone tells you they have lost a pet, NEVER devalue or dismiss their grief “because this is not a human being”.
Pets are sentient beings who have often been there for their guardians more than any human. Offered them unconditional love. Been by their side at their worst times as well as their good times. Been their soulmate, friend, companion.
NEVER tell them or insinuate that losing a pet is less traumatic than a human.
Someone’s grief is THEIR grief and is individual to them.
Losing her (even though she isn’t mine to lose) and my.other pets, has been excruciating and crippling. And i probably grieve more to be honest.
Before i left the vets i asked the angels to carry her safely home and when home i asked my loved ones in Spirit to be with her to help her adjust and look after her, and also to be by dad’s side, her kitty sister, and me.