Reflection for today:

It’s very easy having been around narcs for years, to blame and stay in that story.

Effectively in victim mode.

But, we can step out of it and realise, in a manner of speaking, they were actually a gift.

A gift we didn’t consciously want, yes!

But, a gift our Highest Self knew we NEEDED.

They are often a teacher for us (to teach us to build better boundaries, self-care, self-esteem, self-respect, worthiness, self-confidence, assertiveness and more).

But, we are ALSO a teacher for them too.

Student, teacher. Teacher, student.

But this post isn’t about them!

We repeat experiences with different people and contexts until we learn the lessons that these experiences are trying to teach us.

Look up the book Robert Schwartz, ‘The Soul’s Gift’ as he has a chapter on toxic relationships.

Sometimes we are also sent the experiences so we can see just how far we have come in our healing journey.

How we will no longer tolerate bad behavours towards ourselves, for instance.

And with that can come a sense of pride and achievement, confidence and self-worth, to name a few.

The Trauma of a Name

Ever since my first ever ‘gift’, often when I saw their first name come up on anything written or spoken, even up until recent months for the most recent one, it would trigger my PTSD.

Only a first name, let alone in full.

And I wouldnt want to see that name EVER.


I wouldn’t want that stomach churning reminder.

However I now can face that name and say thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson….to have much better boundaries, self-respect and most importantly to love myself.

Each time i have faced the fear head on and learnt something different, but this time’s has been the most valuable, and the most influential, and has led me to address deep-seated beliefs about myself.

So, there is good in every situation, no matter how far outside the box we have to look.